I was diagnosed with breast cancer in March of 2020. One month before my 50th birthday,in the midst of the New York/New Jersey social shut down due to the Coronavirus.

In this video, the date is April 8, 2020 and I am getting ready to travel to my appointment for surgery. I’m on my way to have a bilateral mastectomy at Sloan Kettering hospital in New York City, the epicenter of the Coronavirus. I live in New Jersey the second highest rated epicenter in the US.

My cancer was serious enough that they could not cancel the appointment. Policies and procedures were changing daily and a new rule was put in place that week by the medical society. You could not have breast cancer surgery if you tested positive for the Coronavirus.

The night before, I was tested for Covid19 and awaited results, which never came. However, because I did not receive the call that my surgery was canceled, I assumed that I tested negative and that everything would take place as scheduled. My assumption was correct, as my first surgery went according to schedule.

This was my first time on an operating table and it was lonely wake up and recovery moment. In case you’ve been living in a bubble and are not aware, support people are not allowed at the hospital whether you were having a baby or having your breasts chopped off.

My friends hate when I use that terminology, “chopped”, when referring to my breasts. Yet, that is how I feel. As if my body parts that were beautiful, a connective part of my womanhood and once protruded off my body, no longer exist. Because they were chopped off.

Do not take chopped as a negative reference to my wonderful surgeons at MSK. It’s how my mind processes the disappearance of the body parts that prevented me from looking down directly at my long toes and feet.

This video is basically my way of sharing news with my friends and colleagues. A moment I will never forget.


Leave a Reply